Guidance Newsletter

Posted Monday, October 24, 2005 10:23 AM
Revised Tuesday, April 29, 2008 11:19 AM

May 2008

Plan fun activities, spend quality time with your child this summer

This summer, plan to spend some quality time with your child and keep her brain at work, too. Sit down with your child and make a list of all the fun possibilities that are before you this summer. Ask yourself:

Are there places in our town we’ve never visited but would like to?
Are there free concerts or plays nearby? When are they scheduled?
What summer activities would we like to try? Are there things I could do with my child, such as riding a bike or learning a new sport?
What are my child’s interests? What could my child do to explore those interests?
Is a class available that interests my child? Whether she wants to learn how to make a video or learn to knit, there may be a class on that subject.

Once you have your list, narrow it down with your child. Choose three things you both want to do this summer. Then make a plan so you can get them done before school starts next fall.

Reprinted with permission from the May 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Ron Fairchild and others, How Did You Spend Your Summer Vacation? What Public Policies Do (And Don’t) To Support Summer Learning Opportunities for All Youth, Spring 2007 (Robert Bowne Foundation, 212-658-5878, www.summerlearning.org).

Screen Time

Maintain limits for TV viewing during the summer vacation

At the end of the summer, what will your child remember? Hours spent reading, playing and being outdoors? Or hours spent staring at the TV?

It’s all too easy to let TV-viewing hours creep up during the vacation. But the American Academy of Pediatrics wants parents to limit TV time to two hours a day—or fewer.

Here are some ideas about how you can make that work during the summer months:

Make a schedule. Set aside a time each day for TV viewing. To make your schedule work, you’ll also need to schedule time for activities like reading. While you’re at it, schedule times for snacks so your child doesn’t eat out of boredom.
Stock up on other things to do. Create a costume box for plays. Collect art supplies. Buy a few board games.
Take TVs out of bedrooms.
Plan trips. Go to museums, parks or on neighborhood walks.

Reprinted with permission from the May 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: American Academy of Pediatrics, Committee on Public Education, “Children, Adolescents, and Television,” Pediatrics, http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/reprint/107/2/423).

Building Responsibility

Encourage responsibility by helping your child enjoy chores

How do you get your child to want to do chores? Remember that elementary-age children love to plan and carry out their plans. So first, involve your child in brainstorming what needs to be done and when. Also:

Be a good model. Happily do chores yourself. Acknowledge your satisfaction when you finish a chore.
Give your child a choice of chores. She should be able to take out the trash, vacuum, fold laundry, feed a pet, help with yard work.
Rotate chores each week, so no one feels “stuck” doing a chore she doesn’t like. Put chores on slips of paper family members draw from a bowl.
Make a game of it. Race to put things away. Or set a timer and see if your child can “beat the clock.”
Use a chore chart. Place a star on it when chores are finished.
Schedule a “work time” when everyone is doing a job.
Curb criticism. Don’t immediately say what your child did wrong. Gently ask what she might do to improve her work.
Be encouraging. Say, “Here’s the broom so you can help! You can do it. Let’s do this together.”
Follow chores with fun. Have a basket of index cards listing fun stuff to do after chores.

Reprinted with permission from the May 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Lynn Lott and Riki Intner, Chores Without Wars: Turning Dads and Kids from Reluctant Stick-in-the-Muds to Enthusiastic Team Players, ISBN: 0-7615-1252-7 (Prima Publishing, 1-800-726-0600, www.primapublishing.com).

Reading With Your Child

Keep your child reading through summer months

Students who don’t read over the summer months lose an average of two to three months in reading skills. Those who keep reading experience gains.

The more your child reads, the easier it’ll be for him. And the more he’ll want to read. So see that your child reads 30 minutes every day.

Try these activities to keep reading fun:

Read the newspaper together. Give your child the comics to read. Ask him which one’s the funniest. Discuss sports, the weather, letters to the editor, travel destinations, etc.
Read aloud together. You read a line or page of a book. Then your child does. Or you read the narrative. Let your child read the dialogue—what characters say.
Dramatize what you read. Select a simple scene from one of your child’s books. Assign character roles. Discuss what happens first, second, next. Then act it out, adding lots of dialogue.
Promote practical reading. Help your child read a recipe to bake cookies. Involve your child in reading instructions to build or repair something.
Create reading-related jobs. Ask your child to recopy damaged recipes. Your child could also organize the family bookshelf or video collection in alphabetical order.

Reprinted with permission from the May 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Kathy Zahler, 50 Simple Things You Can Do to Raise a Child Who Loves to Read, ISBN: 0-02-861765-7 (Macmillan, 1-888-330-8477, http://us.macmillan.com).

April 2008

Attendance Matters

Get to school on time with the three P’s

You started out the year great. Everyone got up and out the door on time—at least most days. But now things have started to slip.

The end of the year is often the time when attendance goes down. But it’s also the time that important class activities and tests take place.

Remember the three P’s to make sure your child still gets to school on time:

Plan. The night before, take a few minutes to think about what your child needs for the next day. Help him pack his lunch and put it in the refrigerator. Have him set his backpack by the door.
Prioritize. Schedule medical appointments after school. Don’t plan trips until after the end of the school year.
Practice. Practice really does make perfect. Each day you get your child up and out the door on time will make it easier the next day.

Reprinted with permission from the April 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: “Increasing Student Attendance: Strategies from Research and Practice,” By Request, June 2004 (Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory, 1-800-547-6339, www.nwrel.org/request/2004june/strategies.html).

Motivating Your Child

The reward for doing well is the good feeling that comes with it

Some parents give kids money for good grades on a report card. What does that teach kids to value? Maybe money—but certainly not learning.

That can be the problem with a lot of so-called “motivation” ideas. The more you offer rewards for learning, the more you teach your child to look for the rewards and not for the learning.

The truth is that all students are motivated from the inside. Your job is to help them recognize that motivation and put it to work.

So the next time your child brings you a good school project, don’t automatically offer praise. Instead, ask, “Are you proud of that?” When your child says yes, ask a second question: “How does it feel to have done your best?”

Your child will probably say that it feels pretty good. And that’s the information you can use again and again. Point out to her that she is capable of doing great work. She can achieve. And when she does, it feels pretty good.

Keep focusing on the good feeling that comes from doing a job well. The reward for doing well is the good feeling. That lasts a lot longer than the money for good grades!

Reprinted with permission from the April 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Bob Sullo, Activating the Desire to Learn, ISBN: 978-1-4166-0423-5 (Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development, 1-800-933-2723, www.ascd.org/books).

Building Respect

Teach your child the importance of not interrupting adults, others

You’re talking on the phone when your child walks in. “Where’s my math book?” she asks, without excusing herself. Experts say that too many of today’s children feel they have a right to interrupt adult conversations any time they feel like it.

That simple act gives kids the wrong message. Yes, their needs are important and they have a right to be seen and heard—but not whenever they want.

When your child interrupts you, don’t take the bait. Say, “I’m talking on the phone. I will help you when I’m finished.” Then go back to your phone call. If she interrupts again, ignore her or hold up your hand.

When you’re off the phone, be sure to listen to your child. Also take the opportunity to talk to her about being respectful by not interrupting.

Reprinted with permission from the April 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Bob Condor, “Living Well: Years of Boosting Kids’ Self-Esteem May Have Backfired,” Seattle Post-Intelligencer, December 12, 2005, http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/health/251521_condor12.html?source=mypi.

Reinforcing Learning

Develop a library habit to create a life-long reader

The first week in April is National Library Week. Public and school libraries do a lot to help make reading fun for children—puppet shows, book fairs, book clubs and contests.

Getting your child to use the library is a simple and effective way to help him grow as a reader and do well in school. Children who visit the library regularly develop better language and study skills.

To help your child develop the library habit:

Take him to the library often—at least every few weeks.
Introduce him to the librarian. Ask for book recommendations. Talk about other ways the librarian might help him.
Get him his own library card.
Take time to let your child examine a variety of books—leafing through their pages.
Let your child check out books he wants—even if the books are too difficult.
Help your child find books he can read with ease that match his interests.
Be a role model. Regularly check out library books yourself.
Sign your child up for after school and summer reading programs at the library.
Make a list of books your child reads and display it.
Talk about books during meals.
Check out audio books to bring on family road trips.

Reprinted with permission from the April 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: I Can Read and Write! How to Encourage Your School-Age Child’s Literacy Development (International Reading Association, 1-800-336-7323, www.reading.org/association).

March 2008

Follow five steps for successful parent-teacher conferences

Many schools schedule a spring parent-teacher conference. Sometimes teachers ask for a conference if they have a concern about a child’s progress. These one-on-one meetings can be a great way to find out how your child is doing. But you’ll get more out of the conference if you do some preparation.

Here are five steps you can take to maximize your time with the teacher:

Communicate beforehand. If you haven’t seen the teacher since Parents’ Night, send a brief email or note to give her an update on how you think school is going for your child.
Talk to your child first. In some schools, children take part in conferences. If this is not the practice at your school, you should still talk with your child beforehand. Ask him how he thinks he’s doing. What does he think the teacher will tell you? Does he have any questions he’d like answered?
Write things down. Jot down notes on what your child says so you can bring them up during the conference. Write down any questions you have. Your notes will help you remember important points.
Make a plan. If the teacher raises concerns, don’t leave without a written plan. What steps should you take to address the problem?
Stay in touch. If you are working on a particular issue, meet again in a few weeks. That way, you can both see how your plan is working.

Reprinted with permission from the March 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Thomas Crumpler and others, Interactive Assessment: Teachers, Parents and Students as Partners, ISBN: 1-929-02449-5 (Christopher-Gordon Publishers, 1-800-934-8322, www.christopher-gordon.com).

Building Responsibility

Show your child the many ways to make a difference in the world

Your child learns most powerfully from your example. If you reach out to make the world part of your neighborhood, you will raise a child who grows up to care for our planet and the people in it.

Talk with your child about the things you do for people in your neighborhood. You may help an elderly neighbor with errands. You may watch a child while a parent is away.

Now ask, “What would we do if we thought of the whole world as our neighborhood?” Make a list of things you can do right away—recycling or using less water, for example.

Then think about things that take more time and planning. You might collect books to give to children in a hospital. You might help raise money to donate to a worthy cause.

Then start doing some of the things on your list. You’ll teach your child that even small actions make a difference and make our world a better neighborhood to live in.

Reprinted with permission from the March 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Bernie Siegel, Love, Magic & Mudpies: Raising Your Kids to Feel Loved, Be Kind and Make a Difference, ISBN: 1-594-86554-X (Rodale Press, 1-800-848-4735, www.rodale.com).

Building Respect

Use ‘teachable moments’ to explain respect

Teaching your child respectful behavior isn’t like teaching her how to ride a bike. You can’t have her practice once or twice and expect the lesson to sink in.

Instead, look for moments when good—or bad—behavior is on display. By talking about what you see, your child will learn a powerful lesson. Talk about respect as you:

Watch a sporting event. If a baseball manager disagrees with an umpire’s call, what does he do? If he runs onto the field screaming, ask your child, “What would happen if you did that to your teacher? What do you think would happen if I acted like that at work?”
Watch television. Many TV shows today confuse humor with disrespect. If you hear a put-down or disrespectful comment on a show, talk about it with your child. What are more respectful ways to talk with people?

Reprinted with permission from the March 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Margaret Sagarese and Charlene Giannetti, “Character Education Begins at Home,” OurChildren Magazine, October 2004 (National PTA, 1-800-307-4782, www.pta.org).

Testing Tips

Teach your child how to become a more confident test-taker

Test anxiety often comes from self-doubt. If your child doesn’t think he will succeed, he probably won’t.

You can help your child become more confident before a test if you:

Take off the pressure. Tell your child, “Tests show the teacher what you’ve learned so far, and what you need help with.”
Avoid last-minute panic. Your child should begin to review and study days before the test.
Teach efficient studying. Help your child focus on the material he hasn’t yet mastered.
Help your child connect new material to what he already knows.
Encourage positive self-talk. When your child gets stuck during a test, he can say, “I know this. The answer will come to me.”
Remind your child of his strengths—what he’s good at.
Help your child visualize success. Have him close his eyes and picture himself knowing the answers.

Reprinted with permission from the March 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Stacy DeBroff, The Mom Book Goes to School: Insider Tips to Ensure Your Child Thrives in Elementary and Middle School, ISBN: 0-7432-5754-5 (Free Press, 1-800-456-6798, www.simonsays.com).

February 2008

Homework/Study Skills

Help your child make paying attention to details a habit

Even the smartest kids can fail when they don’t pay attention to details. They get a C-, D or F on an assignment due to sloppy work or careless mistakes.

For good grades, children must develop the “detail habit.” They must slow down. Proofread for errors in spelling and grammar. Double-check math answers. Rewrite essays to ensure they’re legible.

To develop this habit, kids must link cause and effect. They must see that extra time and effort result in first-rate work they can take pride in. They must care about the outcome more than getting the assignment done as quickly as possible.

To help your child learn to self-monitor for details:

Don’t lecture your child when she gets a poor grade due to substandard work.
Identify problem areas. Ask your child’s teachers to specify details your child habitually neglects.
Make an “Attention to Details” checklist of detail-oriented activities. The checklist can include things like: submitted neat work, completed assignment, followed instructions, checked spelling, etc. Have your child check items off.
Brainstorm with your child how she might correct a chronic problem. Ask the teacher for ideas.
Play detail identifying games. Write a short paragraph that has errors in spelling, grammar and punctuation. Have your child find the errors. Or write sloppily. Help your child rewrite your sentences to improve legibility.

Reprinted with permission from the February 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Lawrence J. Greene, 1001 Ways to Improve Your Child’s Schoolwork, ISBN: 0-440-50265-9 (Dell Publishing/Random House, 1-800-733-3000, www.randomhouse.com).

Building Respect

Remind your child that respect and manners go hand in hand

Respect and manners go together. If your child respects others, his words and actions—his manners—show it.

Studies show that people respond positively to polite people. With good manners, your child will attract more friends and do better in school.

So remind your child:

Manners matter. People feel good when your child treats them with respect. He’ll earn their respect, too.
To follow the golden rule—treat others as he’d like to be treated.
To say please, thank you, you’re welcome and excuse me. Prompt him to use these when he forgets.
To wait for a pause in conversation rather than interrupt.
To recognize when he’s impolite.If he realizes he has been rude, he should apologize for his actions.

Above all, parents need to model good manners. Speak with respect about others—particularly your child’s teacher.

Reprinted with permission from the February 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Michele Borba, Parents Do Make a Difference: How To Raise Kids with Solid Character, Strong Minds, and Caring Hearts, ISBN: 0-7879-4605-2 (Jossey-Bass, 1-888-378-2537, www.josseybass.com).

Keep your child motivated when faced with struggles

Schoolwork gets more challenging from one grade level to the next. Children who can’t keep up often feel like failures.

Talking alone won’t convince your child he’s not a failure. Sympathize with his feelings and then take these actions:

Put failure in perspective. Tell your child, “You can’t always succeed the first time. Our mistakes can help us learn.”
Don’t let your child blame others. It’s his effort that counts.
Plan small steps to overcome obvious obstacles. Make targets realistic. Match goals to his age and experience, so he can experience success.
Create a study routine to help your child stay on top of work.
Keep up-to-date with what’s happening at school. Don’t let problems escalate.
Consider getting extra help if needed in a particular subject. Talk to your child’s teacher.
Don’t compare your child to others. Recognize his strengths.

Reprinted with permission from the February 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Roberta Israeloff, What To Do ... About Your Child’s Moods and Emotions, ISBN: 0-7621-0100-8 (Reader’s Digest Books, 914-238-1000, www.rdstore.com).

Attendance Matters

Get your child motivated in the morning, ready to attend school

Does your child dawdle in the mornings before school? Beg to stay home? Complain of a stomachache? Cry or throw a temper tantrum?

Sometimes children resist school to get attention. Sometimes they are just not motivated to move.

It helps to introduce a morning routine that requires your child to respond to your rules and to what you say.

For the routine:

Get your child up early. Consider rising at least one hour before he needs to leave for school.
List each step your child must take to get ready. Going to the bathroom. Eating breakfast. Brushing teeth. Dressing. Getting his backpack and lunch. Goodbyes.
Include extra time to reward your child for being on time. Or he can use this time to read.
Follow the same routine every weekday morning.
Have negative consequences for not following the routine.

January 2008

Building Math Skills

Promote a positive attitude about math & science in boys and girls

Many of the best-paying jobs require math and science. But too many kids get turned off to these subjects. Research has found that parents have a key role to play in motivating kids—especially girls.

Attitude is key. Children who think of themselves as good in math are most likely to earn the highest grades. They’re also more likely to stick with the subject in college.

You can make a difference. Here are three ways to motivate your child to achieve in math:

Make sure your child has books and activities related to math and science. This is especially important for girls. Parents are much more likely to give math and science gifts to boys. But when girls receive encouragement, they are just as likely to do well.
Look for science programs on TV. Share science stories from the newspaper. Take your child to museum exhibits. How you spend your free time sends a message to your child about the importance of math and science.
Be a good role model. When your child sees you doing everyday math activities, she picks up a message that math is okay. So do things like balance your check-book while your daughter is doing math homework.

Reprinted with permission from the January 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Ann Gallagher and James Kaufman, eds., Gender Differences in Mathematics, ISBN: 0-521-82605-5 (Cambridge University Press, 212-924-3900, www.cambridge.org).

Spending Time Together

Set aside ‘parent-kid’ time every day to stay connected as a family

Make a commitment to carve out a little time that is “parent-kid” time each day. If you have more than one child, look for time alone with each.

Think about your day. If your child catches the school bus, turn that short walk to the bus stop into your regular time together. Could you spend a little extra time as you tuck each child into bed? Could you have a “tea party” with your child after school? Invite one child at a time to help you prepare dinner. You can chat while you chop the lettuce.

These small chunks of time, when you’re relaxed and have no agenda, will become very important. They may be the time when your child opens up and tells you what’s really going on in her life.

Discipline

Teach your child a few self-calming techniques to use

Many things upset elementary-age children. Among them: Being put down. Feeling left out or inadequate. Not getting what they want. Stress in their family. Failure.

Not knowing how to calm down when they get upset can lead to problems at school and elsewhere. Self-calming techniques can help your child learn to manage hurt and pain. They’ll keep him from lashing out in anger or frustration.

Suggest your child try these strategies:

Take “solo” time. Go to his room to relax and regroup. Keep materials there that give comfort—books, music, funny videos, art supplies, hobbies, a journal.
Tackle a chore. He can vacuum or clean his room. He should do something that’ll help him burn off steam or feel good about completing a task.
Exercise. Bike, jog, dance. Do yoga or a sport.
Sing a silly song.
Shake his whole body to “shake off” feelings.
Share his feelings with someone he trusts.
Commune with nature. Look outside. Cuddle a pet. Dig in dirt.
Write a letter.
Ask for a hug.
Take a warm bath.
Find something about the situation he can laugh at.

Reprinted with permission from the January 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Meg Eastman, Taming the Dragon in Your Child: Solutions for Breaking the Cycle of Family Anger, ISBN: 0-471-59405-9 (John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1-877-762-2974, www.wiley.com).

Keep cool, remain calm when your child talks back to you

In elementary school, children’s complex thinking skills kick in. Your child may start questioning rules and wondering if she really needs to listen to you.

She might begin sassing or talking back to you. If you let your child sass you, she’ll probably be rude to her teacher and other adults, too.

Don’t let back talk become a habit. The next time your child has a quick retort like, “Duh!” “Yeah, right!” or “You can’t make me!”:

Don’t snap back. Your anger gives your child satisfaction. She gets attention for her antics.
Analyze the communication. Is she responding in defense to something rude you said or did to her? Did she mean to be rude?
Don’t get derailed into a side argument. Acknowledge your child’s feelings, but stick to your initial request. “I know you’d rather play, but you need to do your homework—now.”
Talk about back talk later. Discuss ways people insult each other. Teach better ways to comment on what you don’t like. Warn that future rudeness will have a consequence.

Reprinted with permission from the January 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Irene Daria-Wiener, “No More Back Talk,” Parents Magazine, July 2002 (Meredith Corp., 1-800-727-3682, www.parents.com).

December 2007

Attendance Matters

Daily school attendance will ensure success

He woke up late and there’s no way he’s getting to the bus. Would it really matter if he went to school late—or not at all?

In a word, yes. A study from the Journal of Educational Research found that attendance makes a big difference. Kids who are in school every day do better than those who aren’t.

But what can you do to make those mornings easier? How can you get your child up and out the door, on time, every day? Here are some tips:

Start the night before. Is homework in the backpack? Are permission slips signed? Does he have lunch money?
Put the backpack by the door your child will go out.
Lay out clothes—down to the socks. This one step will avoid more morning fights than anything else you do.
Create a to-do list of jobs that have to be done in the morning.

Reprinted with permission from the December 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Douglas J. Lamdin, “Evidence of Student Attendance as an Independent Variable in Education Production Functions,” The Journal of Educational Research, Vol. 89 No. 3 (1-800-365-9753, www.heldref.org/jer.php).

Motivating Your Child

Motivate your child to succeed with three proven strategies

Some children have the confidence to tackle any challenge. Others seem defeated before they ever start. What makes the difference?

Researcher Jacquelynne Eccles has looked at the qualities that help children believe they can succeed. To instill confidence in your child, try the three things she suggests:

Give your child challenging, but doable tasks. An eight-year-old probably can’t cook an entire dinner for the family. But a child that age could set the table or make the salad. As you are doing work around the house, ask yourself if your child could do some part of the task. Your child will feel great—and you’ll get the job done. You’ll also help your child develop the “I can give it a try” attitude that leads to success in school.
Teach your child how to do new things. People used to throw kids into the water hoping they’d figure out how to swim. Usually, they just learned that they hated water. So show your child how to do a job. Then help him do it the first time.
Let him do it himself. That’s the same way a teacher helps kids learn new things in the classroom.

Reprinted with permission from the December 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Jacquelynne S. Eccles, “Familes, Schools and Developing Achievement-Related Motivations and Engagement,” in Joan E. Grusec and Paul Hastings, Handbook of Socialization, ISBN: 1-593-85332-7 (Guilford Press, 1-800-365-7006, www.guilford.com).

Discipline

Remember to pick your battles when disciplining your child

Pick your battles. If parents could pass down one piece of discipline advice, that’s what it would probably be. Don’t get into power struggles with your kids over every single problem. Choose what’s important.

And there are battles that are worth having. Here are four good reasons to set limits:

To keep your child safe. Don’t let your child play with matches. Insist that she wear a seat belt in cars. Make sure she uses a bike helmet. Don’t let her run into the street.
To help develop character. Telling the truth is important. Calling people mean names only hurts their feelings. You are right to set limits in those areas. You should also teach your child not to cheat, and to respect adults (including teachers).
To develop responsibility. Children need rules and responsibilities in order to grow into productive adults.
To get along with others. Children need to learn to wait their turn, to say “please” and “thank you,” and to share.

Reprinted with permission from the December 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Bonnie Maslin, Picking Your Battles, ISBN: 0-3122-6378-3 (St. Martin’s Griffin, 1-800-221-7945, www.stmartins.com).

Share basic study skills to help your child succeed in school

What’s the difference between a successful student and one who’s not so successful? According to experts, it may be the study skills they have learned.

Here are four skills that can transform your child into a better student:

Set goals. Before starting any study period, your child should set goals. Ask him, “What is the most important thing you have to do today?”
Organize time. To help your child organize his time, have hime figure out everything he has to do. Then estimate how long each will take. He can use his study goals to decide which assignment to complete first.
Ask questions. Successful students make up questions as they read. Instead of just taking in information, they think about the questions the text is answering. By asking questions and writing them down, your child will have a better understanding of what he is reading.
Measure progress. If your child has decided to spend an hour reading a chapter in his science book, he should check every 15 minutes or so to make sure he’s moving fast enough.

Reprinted with permission from the December 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Peter Kline and Laurence Martel, School Success: The Inside Story, ISBN: 0915556251 (Great River Books, 801-532-4833, www.greatriverbooks.com).

November 2007

Be honest, brief when talking to your child about serious topics

Your child has a problem with a teacher or he had a fight with a friend. And as a parent, you want to share your thoughts about these and other important subjects with your child.

But here’s something to remember. It’s not only what you say, but how you say it. If you want your child to listen to your advice, you need to know how to talk so he’ll listen. Here are five tips:

Be honest. When your child was two, he thought you had all the answers. But today, you both know you can’t be an expert in everything. That’s okay—when you don’t know the answer, say so.
Consider how much to share. If you are getting divorced, your child doesn’t need to know all of the details. He just needs to know that he’ll be safe. If you’re sick, talk about your treatment. Spare children, especially young children, troubling details.
Be brief. Kids simply turn off a lecture. You’re more likely to get your point across if you can express your thoughts briefly.
Respect your child’s views. You don’t have to agree with your child, but you are more likely to change his mind if you talk with him, not at him. So ask your child what he thinks about an issue.
Don’t yell. If you feel yourself getting angry, take a break. Talking louder won’t help you persuade your child that you’re right.

Reprinted with permission from the November 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Charles E. Schaefer and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo, How to Talk to Your Kids About Really Important Things, ISBN: 1-555-42611-5 (Jossey-Bass Publishers, a division of John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1-800-956-7739, www.JosseyBass.com).

Homework/Study Skills

Promote homework success with a study spot, a plan & a checklist

Routines help kids (and adults) get things done without thinking about them. To develop a daily homework routine that really works, help your child:

Set up a regular place and time for homework. Let your child make a “Do Not Disturb” sign to post. This is a cue to everyone that homework is serious business.
Make a homework plan at the start of homework time. What does she have to do today? What can she do alone? Are there tasks for which she’ll need help? (Does she need to go to the library? Buy poster board?)
Make a homework chart. Post it where your child can see it. Before homework is finished, your child should answer these questions:
- Is your name on the paper? Is the date on the paper?
- Did you follow your teacher’s directions?
- Is it neat? Can your teacher read your writing?
- Does each sentence begin with a capital letter?
- Does each sentence end with the correct punctuation mark?
- Have you checked to see that words are spelled correctly?
- If it is a math problem, did you complete all the steps?
- Did you check your work?
- Can your teacher read your numbers?
- Are the numbers lined up correctly?

Reprinted with permission from the November 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Mary Ann Smialek, Don’t Miss the Bus! ISBN: 1-57886-212-4 (Rowman and Littlefield Publishers, 1-800-462-6420, www.rowmaneducation.com).

Building Character

Build respect by encouraging a sense of gratitude

Teachers want students who are respectful and well-mannered in their classrooms. And one way you can teach your child respect is to help him develop a sense of gratitude.

Grateful children are more aware of how others have helped them. They say thank you. They have a positive attitude and are more likely to show respect for people and things in their lives—including teachers and school property.

Truly grateful children don’t just “put on their manners” on demand or to impress others. They use manners to be respectful and to make the lives of others more pleasant.

To encourage gratefulness:

Model it. Say how lucky you are to have your family, your community and your child’s school. Don’t always want what you don’t have.
Express your gratitude to your child. Thank him for his help, his kindness and being who he is.
Don’t give in when your child pleads for a treat or present. This rewards begging, not waiting for what he wants. It creates an ungrateful, impatient adult.
Tell your child you love him and appreciate him for his efforts.
Encourage your child to keep a “Gratitude Journal.” Each day, have him write down two or three things he’s grateful for. Ask him to share a few of his entries.

Reprinted with permission from the November 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Jill Rigby, Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World, ISBN: 1-58229-574-9 (Howard Books/Simon & Schuster, 1-800-223-2336, www.howardpublishing.com).

Building Respect

Use chores to boost your child’s self-respect, responsibility

Nothing builds a child’s self-respect more than being responsible and making decisions. And chores let your elementary-age child do both.

To make chores a positive learning experience for your child:

Assign age-appropriate chores. Your child should be able to clean his room, feed a pet, set the table, fold laundry or vacuum.
Show your child how you want the chores done. Give him step-by-step instructions.
Be clear about when you want a chore done.
Don’t criticize your child if a chore isn’t done perfectly. Compliment what he’s done well. Later, ask him to do part of the job he forgot.
Never redo a chore your child has completed.
Don’t nag to get your child to complete a chore. Instead, set a consequence for when a chore’s not done.
Praise your child for effort and improvement.

Reprinted with permission from the November 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Joan Message Barbuto, The ABCs of Parenting: A Guide to Help Parents and Caretakers Handle Childrearing Problems, ISBN: 1-56875-062-5 (R&E Publishers, 408-866-6303).

October 2007

Review your child’s schedule to maintain a healthy balance

It’s natural to want to structure your child’s life so she’s on a path to success. But if almost every minute of your child’s waking hours is scheduled with schoolwork, chores or extra-curricular activities, your child is overscheduled.

Overscheduled children become exhausted and overwhelmed. They get anxious, discouraged and ultimately unmotivated.

To be healthy and happy, every child needs some downtime. Time just to be, reflect and imagine.

To ensure your child isn’t overscheduled:

Help your child select one or two structured activities that match her unique interests and abilities.
Schedule one to two hours of free time a day for your child. Make sure she has access to art supplies, games, books, garden tools, etc.
Expect some boredom. Boredom can motivate kids to listen to their inner voice. They tinker, write, draw and create.
Never let school become secondary to extra-curricular activities. Make sure your child mustn’t stay up late to finish homework. Remember, elementary-age kids need 10 to 11 hours of sleep a day.
Plan for “unrushed family time.” Have days that are completely open to just putter around the house and yard together. Listen to music. Take a walk. Do anything you both enjoy that has no goal.

Reprinted with permission from the October 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Beth Wilson Saavedra, Creating Balance in Your Child’s Life, ISBN: 0-8092-2875-0 (Contemporary Books/McGraw-Hill, 1-877-833-5524, www.mcgraw-hill.com).

Attendance Matters

Find ways to avoid top reasons children are absent from school

He woke up late and can’t get going. Your sitter is sick and you have nowhere to leave your younger kids.

Things like this happen all the time. Parents wonder if going to school is all that important.

Yes. In fact, kids who miss a lot of school—even in the early grades—are more likely to drop out. They have more problems learning material that will help them succeed.

One school district asked families why their kids missed school. Here are their top answers and some ways you can deal with those problems:

He feels sick. If your child doesn’t have a fever and he isn’t obviously sick (vomiting, coughing, diarrhea), he can probably go to school.
He just won’t get up. Make bedtime earlier. Help him get ready for school the night before.
You need him at home to help with younger kids. If you work and need child care, be sure to have a Plan B if your sitter gets sick. It’s not fair to ask a child to miss school to care for younger kids.
He’s worried. Talk with your child. Is it a test that worries him? Help him review. If it’s something more serious, talk with the teacher.

Reprinted with permission from the October 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Joyce L. Epstein and Steven B. Sheldon, “Present and Accounted For: Improving Student Attendance Through Family and Community Involvement,” Journal of Education Research, May/June 2002 (Heldref Publications, 1-800-365-9753, www.heldref.org/jer.php).

Ready to Learn

Give your child the tools to get organized for school success

She rushed out the door, late for the bus again. Five minutes later, you saw her math homework sitting on her bed.

Helping your child get organized is one of the most important ways to help her do better in school. After all, if she doesn’t have her homework, she can’t turn it in for a grade!

Here are some tips that will get your child organized this year:

Start with a daily checkup. Each day, have your child clean out her book bag. All the way to the bottom (yikes!). Then help her make a list of what she has to do that day. She’ll feel good as she checks off each item on her list. And you’ll be happy when you don’t find math homework on the bed in the morning.
Help your child set up a study space. Kids who aren’t naturally organized need all the help they can get. Studying in the same place every day is one way to help them focus. You don’t have to buy a desk—the kitchen table can be a good study spot. But collect pens, pencils, paper, erasers and other study supplies in a box. That way, they’ll be ready when she needs them.
Start using a homework folder. Buy a two-pocket folder and have her keep it in her book bag. All the homework goes in the folder at the end of the day. When she finishes it at home, it goes back in the folder so it gets to school.

Reprinted with permission from the October 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Janet S. Fox, Get Organized Without Losing It, ISBN: 1-575-42193-3 (Free Spirit Publishing, 1-800-735-7323, www.freespirit.com).

Building Character

Boost sense of responsibility with contributions to others

Children are born with a desire to be helpful and responsible. But that desire may lessen as your child grows older.

To nurture these traits:

Discuss with your child how she can contribute to the household. Ask what she likes to do. Avoid calling her responsibilities “chores.” Just say you really need her help. Show her how to do certain tasks. Then make a schedule with deadlines.
See if she can tutor another child at school. Or assist the teacher with tasks before or after school.
Research what kind of community service programs your child can get involved in. If she likes pets, visit an animal shelter. If she likes going to the park, perhaps she can take part in clean-up day.
Decide together what charities to support—through volunteer work or donations of clothing.
Model how to be a contributing member of the community. Vote in elections. Donate blood. Recycle.
Praise your child when she takes on new responsibilities and helps others.

September 2007

Foster an attitude of success in your child this school year

Henry Ford said it best: “If you think you can—or you think you can’t—you’re right.” But how can you foster an attitude of success in your child?

One strategy is to give your child positive, accurate feedback. Kids make slow progress. Learning to ride a bike, or divide by seven, doesn’t happen overnight.

Here are three steps to take to help your child see that he can succeed:

Tell your child the progress you’ve seen. You could say, “The way you describe Grandpa’s workshop in your writing makes me feel like I’m there.” Or, “That drawing of the human heart helps me see exactly how blood moves.”
Link your child’s success with his own effort. “You stuck with that math problem. Now you found the right answer.” “You took the time to copy over that book report. It’s much neater—and you corrected a few misspelled words.”
Give your child confidence to take the next step. Sometimes, kids need a little boost if they’re having trouble. So remind your child of a time when his effort paid off. “Remember how you worked until you memorized your times tables? I’ll bet the same thing will work for learning states and capitals.”
You’ll build your child’s belief that he can succeed. You’ll also help him recognize successful ways to solve problems.

Reprinted with permission from the September 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Deborah Stipek and Kathy Seal, Motivated Minds: Raising Children to Love Learning, ISBN: 0-805-06395-1 (Owl Books, 1-888-330-8477, www.henryholt.com).

Building Respect

Insist your child show respect to teachers, staff

Being respectful is just as important at school as it is at home. Encourage your child to show respect to her teacher by:

Being courteous. She should say “please” and “thank you” to her teacher.
Doing what’s expected. Everyone in school has a job to do. If the teacher didn’t plan any lessons, no one could learn anything. If students don’t do their jobs— homework, listening to the teacher—it makes it more difficult to learn.
Addressing the teacher by name. Just saying “Good morning, Mrs. Jones” is an easy way to show respect.
Listening to the teacher’s comments. Teachers want students to learn more. That means they have to point out mistakes. Your child will do much better in school if she can hear the teacher’s concern as she’s pointing out ways she can improve.

Reprinted with permission from the September 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Ruby Payne, Understanding Learning: The How, the Why, the What, ISBN: 1-929-22904-6 (aha! Process, Inc., 1-800-424-9484, www.ahaprocess.com).

Attendance Matters

Make attending school a priority for your child

Your child’s teachers will do their best to help your child learn and succeed in school. But there’s one thing only you can do—getting him to school every day.

Children who don’t attend school regularly fall behind and score lower on tests. They can have a hard time making and keeping friends—especially in elementary school.

How often a child is absent in elementary school sets a pattern for absences in later school years. Lots of absences often leads to students dropping out of school completely.

A recent study of the nation’s fourth graders showed that almost one in four (19 percent) had been absent from school three or more days in the last month.

Let your child and his teachers know you know attendance counts:

Tell your child how important school is. Be interested in what he’s learning.
Discuss the consequences of missing school. Not understanding. Needing to do make-up work. Missing out on friends.
Make dental and other appointments during non-school hours.
Don’t let your child skip school for reasons that wouldn’t prevent you from going to work.
Avoid taking your child out of school on exam days.
Keep track of your child’s absences. See if there are any patterns that need to be changed.
Talk to the teacher if your child regularly doesn’t want to go to school.

Create routines for homework at the beginning of the year

Children who spend more time on homework, on average, do better in school. So ensuring your child has what she needs to do her homework is one of the best ways you can support learning at home.

Make sure your child has:

A well-lit study area. This can be at a desk or table top. If at the kitchen table, make the kitchen off limits to others during study time. Turn off the television, too.
A homework “Survival Kit.” Include pencils, pens, paper, tape, pencil sharpener, erasers, crayons, markers, glue stick, scissors, dictionary, ruler.
Standby support. Get phone numbers of classmates your child can call with homework questions.
A set study time. Which would your child prefer? Right after school, leaving the evening free to play? Or after an hour of play or after dinner?

Reprinted with permission from the September 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Michael Popkin, Bettie Youngs and Jane Healy, Helping Your Child Succeed in School: A Guide for Parents of 4 to 14 Year Olds, ISBN: 1-880283-15-8 (Active Parenting Publishers, 1-800-825-0060, www.activeparenting.com).

May

Ready to Learn

Increase academic success by teaching your child patience

We live in an instant society. From instant oatmeal to instant messaging, we want things right away. Our children are no different.

And yet a multi-year study shows that children who learn to wait for what they want do better throughout their lives and in school. In the study, researchers took preschoolers into a room and showed them a small sweet treat. They were told that they could eat the treat right away if they wished. But if they waited, they would receive two treats instead of one. Then the researchers were “called away.” They watched to see which children ate the treat and which ones waited.

Several years later, researchers contacted parents of the same children. They learned that those who had been able to wait were more successful than the children who ate the treat right away. Those who waited had higher grades. They were better able to cope with problems. They even had higher SAT scores!

This summer, why not take advantage of this research? Teach your child how to wait for what she wants. Here are some fun activities to try as a family that will help build everyone’s patience:

Plant seeds. Let your child decide on some flowers or herbs to plant in your yard. Give her the responsibility of watering and caring for them. Once they grow, your entire family will be able to enjoy beautiful flowers or yummy food to eat.
Construct a large puzzle together. No need to finish it all in one sitting. Set aside a little time each evening to work on it. Estimate how long you think it will take to complete.
Save. Set a family savings goal—a new TV, a day at the beach. Involve everyone in saving for your goal and keep a chart of your progress.
Give your child an allowance. Help her create a budget. Don’t bail her out if she overspends.
Schedule a fun activity every few weeks. Let your child help plan what you’ll do.

Reprinted with permission from the May 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Yuichi Shoda, Walter Mischel and Philip Peake, “Predicting Adolescent Cognitive and Self-Regulatory Competencies From Preschool Delay of Gratification: Identifying Diagnostic Conditions,” Developmental Psychology, Vol. 26, No. 6, (American Psychological Association, 1-800-374-2721, www.apa.org).

Homework/Study Skills

Keep your child focused until the school year comes to an end

By this time of the year, even kids who used to do their homework without any complaints may be griping. And children who hated homework? It may be all but impossible to get them to study.

Still, homework helps kids keep learning right up until the end of the school year. If you’re having trouble keeping your child focused, here are some tips that may help:

Talk honestly about frustration. Let your child know that we all have to do things we don’t like. Then try to find some ways to make homework a little easier. For example, have him do five math problems and then take a little break.
Help your child understand the kind of homework he likes. A written report? A hands-on project? When he has some choice in the kind of project to do, he can choose something he enjoys.
Find fun and easy ways to help your child review for tests. “Drive time” in the car is a good time to quiz your child on spelling or math facts. He can also study flash cards while waiting in the doctor’s office or standing in line at the store.

Reprinted with permission from the May 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: “Teaching Study Skills,” National Association of School Psychologists, www.teachersandfamilies.com/open/parent/homework2.cfm.

Building Character

Help your child be generous with time, possesions & talent

Kids don’t have much trouble understanding what it means to share—one child takes a turn, then the other does. But generosity can be tougher because it involves sharing things that have value or are meaningful.

One way to help your child think about how he could be more generous is by focusing on three issues: time, possessions and talent. On a large sheet of paper, write these three words.

Now have your child brainstorm. What are some ways he could share his possessions? (He could donate outgrown clothing or toys to others. He could save part of his allowance and give it to a cause he supports.)

Next, think about how he could use his time helping someone else. Does an older neighbor need help with yard work or small chores?

Finally, think about how he could share his talents. He might visit a senior center to sing or read to a young child.

Reprinted with permission from the May 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Darlene Mannix, Character Building Activities for Kids: Ready-to-Use Educational Lessons & Activities for the Elementary Grades, ISBN: 0-130-42585-0 (Jossey-Bass, 1-800-956-7739, www.josseybass.com).

Building Math Skills

Keep your child learning math over the summer

A break from school shouldn’t mean a break from learning.

Research shows that school-aged children can lose two-and-a-half months in math proficiency over the summer. That’s because they don’t use the skills they’ve learned during the school year.

Try these ideas to keep your child’s math learning on track this summer:

Have your child keep a record of mileage, price of gas per gallon and other travel expenses on a trip.
Plan a menu with your child. Go to the grocery store. Let her help you compare products to find the best deal by dividing the cost of products by their weight.
Have your child measure weight and volume of recipe ingredients. Also have her divide dishes into equal portions.
Help your child develop a budget and a savings plan for her allowance. How long will it take to save $25?
Hold a weekly game night. Play concentration or children’s Scrabble® to enhance thinking skills, addition and vocabulary.

Reprinted with permission from the May 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Diana Mota Morgan, “Summer May Bring ‘Learning Loss,’” Gazette.Net, http://gazette.net/gazette_archive/2005b/200527/frederickcty/education/283876-1.html.

April

Homework/Study Skills

End your child’s homework hassles with proven strategies

You’re right if you think children have more homework than they used to. One university study covering a recent 15-year period found that the homework load for children ages three to 11 has increased by 50 percent.

Homework has also gotten harder. And half of all parents spend too much time almost every day on their children’s homework.

If that’s you, it’s not good. Either your child has significant problems getting homework done—or you’re uncomfortable letting him turn in imperfect work.

Doing or fixing your child’s homework for him only worsens academic problems. The teacher needs to see any mistakes your child makes on homework so she can figure out where his weaknesses are. If his homework is always perfect because you have been correcting all of his errors at home, he won’t get the help that only the teacher can provide.

So step back. Answer questions and help interpret your child’s assignments. But let your child do the work.

If your child still seems unable to handle his homework, try these tactics:

Go online. Many schools post homework assignments on the Web. This can help you and your child understand what’s expected.
Help your child get organized. Call him from work or meet with him at home every day after school. Decide together what assignments he should work on first.
Contact your child’s teacher. Tell her about your child’s problems with homework. Ask for suggestions.
If needed, get your child extra help at school. Or consider getting a tutor.
Take advantage of your school’s homework buddy system. If none exists, have your child call a classmate to work together.
Eliminate distractions. Don’t allow the telephone or television to interfere with homework. Record your child’s favorite show. As a reward, he can watch it when he completes his homework. He can return any phone calls later, too.

Reprinted with permission from the April 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Melissa Kantor, “Whose Homework Is It Anyway?” Working Mother, November 2001 (Working Mother Media, 1-800-627-0960, www.workingmother.com).

Building Respect

Teach your child how to show respect to adults in the school

“My mom says you can’t do anything to me—we’ll sue.”

Sadly, that kind of talk is something that teachers hear every day. In fact, bad behavior from children as young as first grade is often the reason that good teachers quit teaching.

Respect begins at home. Here are some tips on ways you can teach your child to show respect for teachers and other adults at school:

Watch what you say. If your child hears you saying bad things about a teacher, she’ll pick up your attitude. Tell your child that teachers deserve respect because they are in charge.
Discuss any concerns about what’s going on in school with the teacher as one adult to another. Your child may be telling you things about the classroom that are exaggerated—or simply not true. To get the truth, make an appointment and visit with the teacher.
Don’t undermine the teacher’s efforts at discipline. All children deserve a chance to learn in a peaceful classroom. If your child breaks the rules, support the school’s efforts to enforce them.
Teach your child that everyone who works in a school should be treated with respect.

Reprinted with permission from the April 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: “Bad Behavior,” Report to Parents, April 2005, (National Association of Elementary School Principals, 1-800-386-2377, www.naesp.org).

Talking & Listening

Describe the kind of behavior you want and you may just get it

She studied hard and got a 90 on her test. You’re delighted and you want to praise your child for good behavior.

But think carefully before you speak. Some kinds of praise may actually make your child feel she can’t live up to what you’ve said.

Sometimes, parents overdo it. They say, “You’re a genius” to a child who got one good grade. That’s bound to make her nervous. “I’m no genius,” she may think. “Paul’s the genius. He got an A without even studying.”

Instead, try describing your child’s positive behavior. “You studied hard for that test,” you can say. After your child hears her accomplishments praised, she will praise herself. “I can do well in math if I work at it.”

It’s much easier to toss off a quick comment like “You’re great.” It’s harder to look carefully at what your child did and then put it into words. Once she begins to think of herself as a hard worker (or an honest person, or a person who writes funny letters), she will continue that behavior in the future.

Reprinted with permission from the April 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Can Learn, ISBN: 0-684-82472-8 (Scribner Paperbacks, published by Simon & Schuster, 1-800-223-2336, www.simonsays.com).

Screen Time

Reap the benefits of participating in ‘TV Turnoff Week’ with your child

During the last week of April, consider joining the thousands of families who will be turning off the television.

Be sure to talk with your family first. Together, come up with a long list of fun activities that you can do that don’t involve the television.

Here are a few ideas to get your family started:

Dig out that puzzle you’ve wanted to put together.
Pull out the ingredients to make a batch of cookies or another favorite treat.
Lace up your sneakers and take a walk or bike ride through your neighborhood.
Visit the library and stock up on some great books for the entire family to read.

The first day will probably be hard. But as the week goes on, you’ll find that you and your kids miss TV less and less. Even if you switch on the set for an hour or two, you’ll probably find it easier to reduce your family’s TV time in the future.

One second grader spelled out reasons why you might want to switch off your set. “I didn’t really like TV Turnoff Week, except my grades went up and I was in a good mood all week.”

For more information and a list of TV-free activities visit the TV Turnoff Network at www.tvturnoff.org.

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